Starting a new career after 14+ years in another......in your late 30's with a young child is hard! And as women we tend to put extra pressure on ourselves wearing many hats throughout the day. Yesterday was a test for me but I conquered my fears and am feeling pretty proud of myself.
If you have been following my posts for a while you will know that on top of my new job I am also a Life Coach - which I love as well! However It does come with extra pressures that I somewhat create for myself - I can't have bad days, I should have the answers to my problems, If I share my bad days will I be seen as a fraud in the industry?
You know as well as I do that those negative thoughts are complete BS and so here is my story after a hard day on the job yesterday and how I made it through.
It was supposed to be my day off today but at the end of the day yesterday my boss called asking if I could submit an application. I had to wait for a coworker to structure a few things first but the day got busy and it didn't get done. I decided no biggie I'll head up there and take care of it in the morning and be out by 10am.
Long story short it got done by 12:30 I went to submit my side but realized a coworker had already taken care of it hours before…..
I was so mad! I had wasted my morning working hard to get something done and nobody reached out to me to let me know! I may or may not have had a mild tempter tantrum and vented to my wonderful coworker who got to hear some pretty colourful language which then turned into tears of pure frustration.
I wanted to speak up to my boss about how I felt but also did not want to come across as that dramatic woman that we are portrayed to be when working in a male dominated industry.
I started having a full on explosion of negative thoughts (Blockers 🚨)
They don't think I'm good enough
They're probably frustrated with me
I'm not respected yet
Were they talking about me behind my back before they decided to take over
What have I done wrong
I'm not suited for this industry
The list went on and my Field (Career) score plummeted from a high 7 to a low 2
I drove home feeling so defeated and wondering if quitting my job as a Financial Advisor that I knew so well had been a huge mistake. At least I knew this job like the back of my hand, people came to me to get things done. I cried a bit more on the drive home.
When I arrived home I was angry! I vented to my husband Steve, brushing off Abigail who just wanted to play with me and tell me about all of the exciting things she had done that morning. I couldn't see past my moment I was having.
After I was done venting Steve, ever so kindly reminded me that I loved the job last night, I'm still learning a whole new industry and that I have the right to request communication and not be brushed aside (Family score skyrocketed to a 10) He was my valve at that moment and my accelerator 🚦 I am incredibly lucky to have a husband who listens and respects me. Somehow he always has the right words.
Feeling empowered, I sat down and wrote an email to my boss 😬 I firmly (but politely) explained how it had frustrated me that I wasn't given the chance to learn and didn't appreciate i wasn't told that it had been taken care of when they knew I was also working on it. In a nutshell I'd appreciate communication and not to be brushed aside.
I hit send and immediately panicked Blockers came back
OH God I'm going to get fired!
I probably sound like a dramatic woman causing issues
I'm being a drama queen
i'm going to be talked about between all the men
i'm that typical woman
My phone rang within minutes, it was my boss, I panicked and hit ignore. Took a deep breath and reminded myself I was not a "keyboard warrior" I am a strong working woman who deserves respect! I was prepared to have a talking to (and get fired) I hit redial. I was at a loss for words. He started off by acknowledging what I said in the email, Genuinely apologized to me, explained how it was an oversight on his end, told me I was doing a fantastic job, gave me kudos for speaking out, promised to communicate better and told me if I ever thought of quitting he would drag me back by my ankles 😅
Field score skyrocketed to a close 8 He actually listened to me! This has never happened in my career before! I had been heard right then an there. There was no typical corporate comment of "Thank you for bringing this to our attention" It was a true conversation with the owner of the company.
As women we sometimes feel we have to work harder, maybe quieter, be a mother a wife and whatever other titles we carry. Had it not been for Oola and the amazing women I have met through my journey, I might not have had the courage to speak up, my blockers would have won and my accelerators would have faded away.
I spoke up, I was respected and heard. I was able to confide in Steve, take control and move on to play with Abigail, get excited and organized for her first day of Kindergarten tomorrow 😭
It's amazing how quickly the 7 Fs can affect each other!!!
If you're looking to get your Oola Life on connect with me! You can find out more about this amazing program at www.kcessentials.net
Love you all and thank you for listening!